I know I didn't blog yesterday. First I just couldn't think of anything to blog about, and second I just couldn't bring myself to do much of anything yesterday.


I don't know why I have those days where I do almost nothing. My Type 1 nature is so not like that! I should be bright and vibrant and busy all the time, but every now and then I have a gloomy day.


I don't have depression or anything like that, but yesterday I just had emotions so close to the surface I didn't know how to feel. I don't know what emotions I was feeling either. I can't describe exactly what I was feeling or going through.


I did get some cross-stitching done and some TV watched, but not much else. I tend to eat my feelings as well, and luckily what sounded good was a salad from Costa Vida and a caffeinated drink from my favorite drink place, which isn't so bad, but the fact that I was feeling so low, I took it.


Maybe that's all I really needed was a good lunch, but even after my kids got home from school, I was still feeling low. At those times I really don't want to do anything, and we did left overs and fried eggs and toast for dinner.


Once my hubby came home, I was starting to come out of my cloud and seeing him go right to work with things around the house that need to be done, gave me a little energy and I was able to clean and vacuum my room, which was really needing to be done. I felt a little better knowing that that room was at least clean, since when I stitch, it's usually on the couch in my bedroom.


I can't decide if this is just the weather getting me down, we did have a few days of sunny and nice weather and now we are back to foggy and drab, or if there is something really wrong with me.


I read a post from someone that was shared on Facebook and it really hit home, especially about how I feel. It was mostly on depression and anxiety, but it also talked about when you just don't feel happy. I think this is the stage I'm in. I have just not felt happy.


Maybe it's because I feel like I fight with my kids every waking hour of the day, or because everything is my fault and they're not afraid to tell me so. Or maybe it's just my own insecurities about life and my calling and all the new people I have and need to meet, and try to remember their names. Or maybe it's that one person I'm concerned I offended by a comment that was not at all geared to her or said to offend anyone, but I'm still afraid it may have. Or maybe it's that I'm stuck at home all day not feeling like I contribute much to the family other than cooking and cleaning. Or being sad that in our move here, I have lost some great clients and friends that I miss so much. Or maybe it's just that I'm not living my truth and need to again to feel happy and love my body now, not 30 pounds ago.


Whatever the reason, I also have a choice in this matter! I can continue to have a pity party and stay in this slump I'm in, or I can get up and choose to live life!


Satan would have me continue on in my pity party hour after hour and day after day, but I need to make that choice to not let him in my life! I would much rather take the light over the dark and that's just what he is is darkness.


I need to look beyond myself and focus on others. How can I serve my kids, my husband, those I serve with, those I live near, those I miss and love so much, my extended family, friends I haven't seen in a while, etc? How can I reach beyond myself to touch others with the light of Christ that I know is in me, but on those darker days is harder to see?


We all have choices! What to wear, what to eat, what to drive, where to live, who to associate with, how to worship, who to love, forgiveness or not, repentance or not, service or not.


What will you choose?


I read this yesterday and on a day like yesterday, it hit me hard:


"Living for the sake of other, makes us most beautiful in the sight of God!"


Service and kindness and love for others is what matters most in this life! "When we are in the service of our fellow beings, we are only in the service of our God" (Mosiah 2:17). Who better to love and serve than God! And it is through our service and love of others that is achieved.


So on that day that I am feeling in a slump, I will serve and love more. Serve and love my family, the sisters I serve, the friends I have, those I see only occasionally, my neighbors, those with different beliefs than mine, those that I may disagree with.


I can serve everyone in even the smallest of ways: a phone call, a plate of cookies, a loaf of bread, a smile, a compliment, and in so doing, I am serving God, whom I love dearly, for He has blessed me with everything that I have, and will have, and I see his guiding hand in my life and I'm grateful!


We all have choices, I pray that we will make the right ones that keep us safe, and help us love and serve those around us!